Divorce is one thing most people don’t put into consideration when entering into what is supposed to be the lifelong relationship called marriage.
Most people get married believing they met their ‘soulmate’ and their union would be a fairytale leading to a possible ‘happily ever after’. Sadly enough, reality sets in and the world as they know it, comes ‘crashing down’.
Considering the amount of effort both parties need to put in to make their marriage work, it often comes as a disappointment when divorce becomes an option.
Despite the fact that most people go into marriage for the wrong reasons like family pressure, financial security, pregnancy etc, most people who take the option of divorce claim they gave the marriage their ‘all’.
READ ALSO: 12 wrong reasons to get married
What is divorce?
Law dictionaries have defined divorce as the legal dissolution of a marriage by a court or other competent body.
What are the causes of divorce?
Marriage is often seen as a ‘binding contract’ and as a result of this, one party cannot just wake up and say ‘it’s over’ without initiating the right steps required to end the contract.
READ ALSO: Divorce process in Nigeria
Research has shown that most divorces were caused by the factors below:
- Infidelity – When a loved one cheats, it often leads to heartbreak and an irreparable damage of trust. Most times, people just go ahead to have affairs without having a ‘reasonable excuse’ for it; some claim to have done it due to lack of intimacy, while others did it out of curiosity or out of anger or spite for an ‘unworthy’ partner.
- Finances – There is a popular saying that ‘money is the root of all evil’, this proves true in most marriages as any couple who cannot map out a workable plan for their finances are bound to run into problems that can lead to the end of their marriage.
In a marriage where one is the sole provider, problems are bound to arise and where one makes more money than the other person, a struggle for superiority starts and often leads to the breakdown of the union.
- Irreconcilable differences – When a couple keep fighting over any and everything and can’t bring themselves to resolve their issues, it leads to a change of emotions like complaining, blaming, criticizing, nagging and threatening each other. This could cause them to begin to see each other in a different light and when that happens, a divorce is inevitable.
- Breakdown in communication – Every couple will tell you that communication is very important in relationships.When the window of communication is closed by either constant quarrels or physical distance which can be created by the couple living apart either due to ‘uncontrollable situations’ like work or sickness, resentment could creep in, leading to divorce.
- When there is no shared vision – Couples need to have at least a common goal to work towards in their marriage. Some couples have had to sit down to decided whether they want to have children or not, to save toward buying property etc. Imagine a situation where one wants to have children and the other doesn’t, sooner or later they will have problems which could become permanent in their marriage and lead to it being dissolved.
- Abuse – Divorce cases seem to be on a steady increase recently, as most people have reported instances where they suffered either physical or emotional abuse even both at times. People suffering abuse are often advised to take the divorce option as it is better to stay alive than to end up dying when there were other options in the first place.
They say there is a ‘thin line between love and hate’ and with the rate at which people are going down the divorce route, one is left wondering ‘did they really love themselves at all before embarking on the journey to ‘forever’?
Watch this video to see what Nigerians said when asked if it was possible for money to buy love:
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