Nigeria is a country, which is inhabited by different nations and tribes, so the Nigerian culture is very diverse, and weddings are full of rituals and customs. They are so different and incredibly colorful. The most numerous ethnic groups in the country are tribes of Yoruba and Igbo. Today we’ll talk about the unusual Igbo wedding traditions.
Igbo traditional wedding – customs and stages
6 Igbo traditions before wedding
Igbo traditional wedding – customs and stages
- Unlike Europeans, Nigerians are convinced that the beautiful bride is ‘not skinny’ bride. Therefore, if parents want to marry their daughter successfully, they need to fatten her well. High-calorie diet can last for months or even years, depending on the family’s financial capabilities and the desired result. The fact is that if she does not pick up the coveted kilograms – the husband and his relatives, according to ancient tradition, can return her to her family with a disgrace. Big forms of the bride promise numerous children to her husband, so the bigger the girl is, the more successfully she can marry.
- The last months before the wedding can be called a fairy tale for the lazy ones – Igbo bride is free from any work, she does not come out of the house, communicating only with her relatives and eats often and a lot. Also, servants regularly rub the body of the bride and apply chalk mixture of palm oil to the skin to make softer and lighter.
Igbo traditional wedding – customs and stages
The menu of the future bride is very nutritious and high-calorie. In particular, women regularly drink fat milk; eat couscous – a dish of semolina, meat and vegetables; fish and a lot of baking. Undoubtedly, a daily diet requires a lot of money from a Nigerian family, so if the parents have a difficult financial situation they are asking wealthy neighbors, relatives or friends to take the daughter for ‘fattening’.
3. However, not only the bride has something to do. In some parts of Nigeria, there is a tradition of beating the groom. If the Igbo man wants to marry, he must pass through a corridor, consisting of relatives of the bride, who beat him with the sticks, checking whether he is ready for family life.
Igbo traditional wedding – customs and stages
4. Well, the bride is prepared, that is, properly-fed, which means it’s time to inform her betrothed. They do it with the help of tom-toms. Three nights in a row Igbo girl should call the name of her lover with this musical instrument and inform him that she is ready to become his wife. However, incidents happen, when instead of the beloved one several contenders can come.
In this case, she is lucky to those who receive a lady from a potential father-in-law. The bride can only hope that the father will not make mistake in the choice. However, this is the exception rather than the rule.
Igbo traditional wedding – customs and stages
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5. In the family the younger sons are not allowed to marry until the eldest son marries, everything is in order of priority. If everything is right, then the groom will have to pay the ransom, which is growing every year. For many young people from the Igbo tribe, it has become an insurmountable obstacle for marriage, as the asked amount of money is often very huge.
The poor Nigerian boyfriend and his family often cannot afford such sum. In connection with the situation, some leaders of Nigerian cities have introduced a fixed amount of a ransom that has helped a lot of young people to start a family.
Igbo traditional wedding – customs and stages
The man behind the bride must bring a ransom and this is not just a formality. The bride’s parents have the right to ask any price for the bride and groom then has to decide he will be able to pay it all or not. It often happens that young couple already lives together and has children, and the man still pays the dowry for his wife.
While he is paying the children belong to the woman and her family. If the bride-price has not been paid and appropriate wedding rituals have not been made, such a union has no power even if they have given birth to 20 children. Igbo woman may be given to another man, and then the children will belong to her new husband because he has done everything by the rules of Igbo people.
6. After the ransom has been paid, they prescribe the wedding day, which is selected very carefully. It is not possible to have a celebration at harvest time, natural disasters, or the death of close relatives.
Igbo wedding beginning
Igbo traditional wedding – customs and stages
Bride and groom are standing in front of relatives, in fact, wearing underwear. A leader of a tribe or family clan obliges tie them with a veil and it means unity until death does them part. Then the young couple dresses up and goes to the husband’s relatives. There they are also covered. It means that the bride breaks all ties with her family and now her family is a family of her husband.
If for some reason the groom’s relatives refuse to tie the bride veil, this means that they do not accept her and then none can change the decision of the relatives. To get married the bride and groom should be accepted by the families.
The fact that the bride breaks ties with her family, in fact, does not literally mean that. She can still support and assist her parents, but in the case of any conflict, her family has no right to vote, and even no right to make decisions in a family of her daughter. The groom’s family pays bride’s price, which means they are her owners.
Igbo bride’s attire
Igbo traditional wedding – customs and stages
The couple may wear traditional costumes or the usual formal suit for the groom and a snow-white wedding dress with a veil for the bride. The traditional bride’s attire always includes gel and a lot of accessories. Igbo native attire is very stylish and colorful.
So no wonder, Igbo brides love bright colors which look very nice at such a romantic event. The look must be eye-catching, but still very elegant. The bride and the groom may display the most expensive fabrics and luxurious designs.
Igbo traditional wedding decoration
Igbo traditional wedding – customs and stages
The restaurant, hotel, and house of parents must be properly prepared for the wedding. The bright colors symbolize happiness and success of the couple. So there are a lot of beautiful bright clothes all around. People decorate tables and walls with flowers, photos of the spouses and fruits.
Igbo traditional wedding ceremony
Igbo traditional wedding – customs and stages
The official part of the ceremony takes place in the church, after which the guests are waiting for the wedding feast, which is dominated by ethnic dishes.
Nigeria is a poor country, so people can be divided into three social classes – rich, poor and very poor people. However, even very low-income families tend to make a decent wedding for their children with a lot of guests and gifts.
The groomsmen and bridesmaids must necessarily be present at the wedding. By tradition, they dress in clothes of a certain color. The couple buys the fabric. Moreover, all close relatives and special guests should be dressed in suits and dresses from the same fabric that looks very impressive.
Igbo traditional wedding – customs and stages
During a traditional wedding ceremony, the bride’s father must give the bride some wooden cup which is filled with palm wine. At the same time, the groom must find a spot somewhere among the guests.
The bride must find her husband in the huge crowd while all the guests try to distract a lady. Once the bride finds her beloved one, she gives him the cup with palm wine as a symbol of her loyalty and love. After that, the cup is returned to the bride’s parents who then should bless this marriage and also proclaim them a wife and a husband.
Igbo traditional wedding – customs and stages
On the appointed day, guests gather in the church. The action starts with songs of praise, during which the choir and congregation not only sing but also dance. Then the second part of the ceremony begins – the pastor has its place, and then there are dancing buddies of the groom, followed by a dancing groom himself. After the men take their places the bridesmaids and the bride herself come over dancing.
Then the ceremony of Igbo marriage begins during which the bride and groom swear their love and loyalty, exchange rings and kiss each other. Despite the difference of religion, traditions, ways of life and color of skin, all the weddings have the same emotions and happiness.
Igbo traditional wedding menu
Igbo traditional wedding – customs and stages
After the ceremony, a young family comes out of the church dancing according to the rhythm. Here they greet relatives and friends, are photographed. After that, the guests are invited to the wedding banquet.
The most popular dishes on the Nigerian wedding are seafood, meat, chicken, and fish, which are prepared with the use of many spices. Garnish can be potatoes, fried rice with vegetables, or the local yam.
Igbo traditional wedding – customs and stages
Also, you can often find a dish called Moya-Moya on the Igbo wedding. It is a casserole of beans, eggs, and smoked fish, which is prepared in the young palm leaves, and fried banana. The soups are popular too, but they are not served at the beginning of the feast, as it is in Europe, but at the end.
For dessert, people usually serve fruit – pineapple, banana, papaya and so on.
Nigerians do not abuse alcohol, so even at weddings, they prefer low-alcohol beer, which is served with slices of fried beef on the open fire in the peanut butter and spices.
Igbo traditional wedding cakes
Igbo traditional wedding – customs and stages
The wedding cake is a very important part of Igbo wedding. The spouse must cut a piece together, the photographers make photos and all the guest gather around to see it. So the cake must look really good. Usually, it has 2-4 floors and the figures of spouses on the top.
Igbo after-wedding life
Igbo traditional wedding – customs and stages
There are no divorces, but, in general, you can get a divorce. If a woman wants a divorce, the husband may assign a price. The veil, which covers them at a wedding, is woven from different colored threads and husband can appoint a ransom of one million nairas for each fabric row.
If a woman is able to pay (that is not possible), then she is free to divorce her husband. If a husband wants to divorce, all property, including her husband’s clothes and his investments goes to his wife. The husband is free to take what he has on at that moment and that’s all. All the houses, money and valuables go to his wife. That’s why there are no divorces.
Children belong to the husband. If for some reason a married woman gets pregnant from a lover, then the children will still belong to her husband, and no one has a right to get them. But at the same polygyny is not forbidden.
Igbo families have very strong family ties. If someone in the family has achieved a certain position, then he takes a savvy young boy or girl from the family to work for a year or two (but not close relatives, but cousins, for example).
During this time, he helps ‘a kid’ to succeed. A relative is doing everything that a young person begins to prosper. At the end of the junior relative should take someone from the family too and also help him to succeed and so the whole family begins to flourish. By the way, as Igbo people move abroad, first one comes and settles down, and then transports the whole big family up to the third and fourth generation there.
Igbo traditional wedding – customs and stages
Igbo wedding is a beautiful event with numerous traditions and customs. Let’s try to preserve them for our future generation!
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