Otukpa in Benue state is unique community given her customs and traditions in the area of marriage. It’s a community where age long customs dictate that parents demand hefty price before women of marriageable age are given out in marriage.
In the unique customs of Otukpa- a mountainous community located in Ogbadibo local government area of the state and a border town with Enugu and Kogi states, even the dead are not left out when it comes to the issue of marriage, Punch reports.
As a result of the financial demands of marriage in the community, women and men of marriageable age have abandoned their relationships over exorbitant bride prices.
The bride price system of the community placed women at a disadvantage as men simply move to other communities to get wives without the hassles of breaking the bank before marriage, hence, women in the community have resulted to having babies out of wedlock or wait until a man who has the financial capacity to go through the demands of the community comes for their hands in marriage.
Palace of Ochi Otukpa, a community in Benue state where dead relatives receive payment, drinks before daughters are given out in marriage
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Joy Ameh, a hair stylist who spoke with Saturday Punch narrated what it takes to be a women in the community.
“At the time I was to get married in 2014, the items listed and the amount demanded by my parents totaled N435, 000. This was apart from the huge amount that we were to spend for the church wedding proper. At the end of the day, the man backed out and the marriage never took place.
“I am 32 years now and getting older, how long will I wait to find a husband to marry me? It is as a result of this that I decided to at least have a child. Even though it is outside marriage, I am not ashamed of my action,” she added.
The demands from brides’ family has seen many ladies lose their prospective husbands in this Benue comminity as the cost of traditional marriage ranges between N150, 000 and N600, 000 in the least cases.
In situation where the prospective groom is from another community or the bride is a university graduate, the amount charge becomes far higher.
The three stages of marriage in this community is set as the introduction, date taking and the traditional marriage proper.
In the first stage where the man will signify his intention of marriage, he is expected to spend, aside from cola nuts and palm wine, between N6, 000 and N30, 000. This depends on woman’s family.
The second stage which is identified as date fixing is very critical and usually the most dreaded. It is the phase where the intending groom meets with the parents of the woman to discuss the amount of money he will be expected to spend.
In the second phase, the traditional marriage is fixed and specific amount demanded from the man.
According to the news outlet, the man could be required to pay at least N700, 000 or more, depending on the value they place on their daughter.
“It is this stage of date fixing and all the troubles related with it that has attracted the attention of our traditional rulers in Otukpa, particularly, the Ochi Otukpa. It is the stage that scares away prospective husbands. Many suitors, after the introduction, have had to abandon our women and go to neighbouring communities to marry. It has proved a big problem over here,” Anthony, an indigene of the community revealed to Punch.
The prospective husband is also expected to provide more money for logistics.
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Some of the fees demanded from potential suitors in the community include money to ‘open’ her father’s mouth – N500; N500 for the grandfather’s cola; grandmother’s cola;
“To go to the room of the bride’s mother where negotiation of the dowry would take place, a potential groom must pay N200, present three cartons of assorted beer and 20 litres of palm wine before permission is granted,”
“Once inside the room, he still has to pay another N3, 000 to get the consent of the woman’s mother. The bride’s maternal grandfather and grandmother are to be paid N300 and N200 including being presented with a carton of beer whether alive or not as part of the marriage demands,” the report said.
“You must settle all these people whether they are there physically or dead before you can be given a wife in the community,” noted Benjamin Epee, a commercial motorcyclist in the community. “This has given us a lot of problem in this town until recently when the traditional leaders came up with new ideas. I just hope that things will improve for the better,” he said.
Chukwuma Anunobi, a native of Enugu, who is based in Port Harcourt, Rivers state narrated his experience when he wanted to marry from the community:
“The entire thing sounded strange to me and my kinsmen,” he said. “I have heard of many things from my friends who married from different parts of the country but paying certain amount and offering drinks to the bride’s maternal grandparents who were late at the time really scared me and my people. My father, who is a reverend, insisted that I backed off. That was how the whole thing ended,” he added.
Meanwhile, according to Jude Ochoma, a native of the town: “It is not strange to us but outsiders sometimes find it shocking and thus become scared. They wonder why people who are late should also be included in the scheme of things as far as a marriage is concerned.
“But that is the tradition, it is part of what makes our culture different from others,” he said.
However, the traditional ruler of Otukpa, Chief Sunday Ekele, on July 20, 2017 was sad to have pegged the amount to be spent on traditional marriage ceremonies at N100, 000 maximum.
The chief said this was a result of the growing rate of complaints among young men and women in the community over the outrageous demands by parents of would-be brides.
“Money should not prevent anyone from getting married in our community,” Ekele said. “From now onward, no one should spend more than N100, 000 before getting a wife in our community.
“If you move round our communities now, you will see a lot of youths who should be married by now but are not because of the economic situation in the country. We do not intend to compound their problem with the high cost of traditional marriage.
“The disturbing aspect is that these ladies remain in their parents’ houses, having babies outside wedlock and not knowing what the future holds for them. We need to encourage this set of people so they won’t be scared of going into marriage.
“Whatever step the couples now decide to take after that period, spending millions of naira on church wedding if it is within their powers, is not for us to worry. Ours is to ensure that traditional marriage is made affordable for intending couples,” he stated.
Meanwhile ZENITHBLOG.com had reported that the general overseer of the Redeemed Christian Church of God (RCCG), Pastor E.A Adeboye, gave youths in his church words of advice on choosing the right kind of wife to marry.
According to the man fondly referred to as ‘Daddy G.O’, marriage is best contracted between two God-fearing people, especially if the woman is a prayer warrior.
Here is a special food in Ebonyi state as brought to you by ZENITHBLOG.com.
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